In Search of Commonality
November 16, 2021
There’s an exercise that serves as an excellent illustration. Two people face each other a couple of feet apart with one raised hand. Palms meet and each individual is instructed to apply force to the other person’s hand. The question is then asked, “what progress is being made?”
In this era of divisiveness in which we now exist, does it not seem as if we are wrapped up in a world of opposing forces not only in disagreement, but in rage vs. one another? Vaxing vs. anti-vaxxing. Pro choice vs. pro life. Republicans and democrats. Industrialists and environmentalists. The list goes on.
If I’m honest, I must examine my own rationale. How do I size a person up? Do I focus first on outward appearance, the clothes that are worn, hairstyle, adornments such as tattoos or piercings? Do I stereotype based on where someone is from, belief systems, athletic or not so much? Are my premises flawed?
During a recent meeting a client shared similar thoughts. My client, a person of faith, works directly in one or more of these combustible topics of today’s society as his livelihood. An idea he submitted regards our initial approach towards one another. Are we seeking first to differentiate or do we rather search for commonality? Encompassing his consideration was a concept to begin from that is referenced no less than between 442 and 759 times in the Bible, depending upon translation: LOVE! I think we can each AGREE that’s a lot of mentions.
How do we practically live that out?
What if we first of all disarm? I’m not talking artillery, but rather emotions. Are you equipping yourself for confrontation or understanding? Do you know the other’s stories?
I met Laticia on a plane. Admittedly I’m a travel snob, perfectly contented to bury myself in the pages of the most recent literary find. Laticia had drawn the short straw and was confined to the middle seat. She began casual conversation and I confess that my first reaction was to get back to my book. Instead something in my inner self directed me to refocus and listen. For an hour I learned about her work, her family, and hopes and dreams. As it turned out we had a lot in common. We lived in the same county. We have worked in public service. We were married, had kids and grandkids. We were fortunate to have all five of our senses. We bleed the same color. We could agree that we wanted people to come together for a greater good.
I can finish that book later.
The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi asks the Lord to make us instruments of His peace. What are ways that can be lived out?
· There are times and places where opinion matters and needs to be expressed. Carefully examine if that time and place is in the present moment, later, or ever, for that matter.
· Does your manner or countenance reflect kindness or provocation? Does it further relationships?
· Is your “go to” a smile or a frown?
· Where is your curiosity meter? Are you asking more questions or offering up more answers?
· Seek connection with those of different ilk. Challenge yourself to overcome timid awkwardness.
Timmy Thomas is a soul, R&B, and pop artist. One heck of an organist too. Nearly 50 years ago he crafted lyrics and a tune that not only captured a time of the then turmoil of war and discord but one remaining timeless to this day.
Tell me why? Tell me why? Tell me why?
Umm, why can't we live together?
Tell me why? Tell me why?
Umm, why can't we live together?
Everybody wants to live together
Why can't we live together?
No more wars, no more wars, no more war
Umm, just a little peace in this world
No more wars, no more war
All we want is some peace in this world
Everybody wants to live together
Why can't we live together?
No matter, no matter what color
Umm, you are still my brother
I said, "No matter, no matter what color
Umm, you are still my brother"
Everybody wants to live together
Why can't we live together?
Peace.
The Seed Sower